I STILL EXIST!!! (take this post as proof)

Wow.

I apparently have become the ultimate digital blogging slacker. It appears that sometime in December was the last time I took 2 minutes to say hi via this little piece of heaven.

HI!

So, I should probably update the, oh, 3 people who might actually stop by here on what's been happening. Winter happened. We got some snow. Nearly 400cm all said and done. I kept some as a souvenir, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it. Maybe I'll just keep it in the freezer until next winter and then set it free. Spring came and brought with it some melting of the afore-mentioned snow. Our beloved Saint John River is now at 8m flood level. Not good if you live along the river. Fortunately I'm not a sucker who bought a house in a spot that is well known to flood at least once every five years. (and now even more frequently).

Global warming 1, Flood plain dwellers no score!!!

No really impressive events to report. The boy continues to grow and learn and boggle the mind on a regular basis. I suspect that he will surpass my intelligence within two weeks.

Friendly Fire Fridays have been flowing like golden rivers of co-operative gaming goodness down a mountain of platinum hits. (I know that didn't make any sense but I'm tired and rambling now).

Summer will be here soon. That means my annual pilgrimage around the province checking the deteriorating condition of our province's provincial roofs. Good times to be had by all.

I'll end with a quote that I saw as part of a Sig (or signature for those not familiar with Internet shorthand, you know who you are)....

"God Was My Co-Pilot, but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him." - Unknown

The day is today

Today is Thursday. It is the fourth day of the week. It is payday.

There is nothing special about today. It is nearly 9am which means my paycheck is gone. Oh well.

Tonight will be Thursday night. It is the fourth night of the week. It is nothing to celebrate.

You may continue your day.

This is over.

"...if short and sweet is good, is tall and sour bad...?" - Jeff King

Fredericton Chernobyl - an inward glance

Today was a day. If there was ever an understatement, that was it. If Murphy was out to get me the last time (see last post), then his grand-daddy found me today... and then some.

I've been sick and in migraine hell for about a week, so today started off being a good day by not starting out with pain. Off to work I go. Work is normal throughout the morning and at lunch I'm planning to come home to get something to eat. END OF PLAN.

I get to the car and turn the key. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Apparently I left the lights on in the car this morning. I never do this, but it happens. My stress level is already at 9.5 as missing several days of work with sickness over the last week isn't good for me to do. I have limited time off. So I go get one of the maintenance guys to see if he can boost me and I figure I'll lose maybe half my lunch, tops. Stress level not really rising but I'm pissed at myself nonetheless.

Boosting the car is completely unsuccessful. I mean nothing doing at all. So here I am, at work, no money, dead car, already missed enough time from work, I need to pick up Jody and the boy in a few hours and I find out the starter is broken. I get money. I call a tow truck. He comes. Taps the damn starter with a hammer, charges me $40(service call) instead of $60(tow) and tells me that if I turn my car off it might not start again so I should go to the shop and get it looked at right away.

Off to the shop I go. Another day at work lost. My stress level is just about through the roof. I get there and they tell me they can look at it but they don't have a starter in stock to fix it today and it will have to wait until tomorrow. Groovy. How am I going to get everyone picked up tonight and dropped off tomorrow morning with a car that I can't turn off? Stress level rising. So I call my wife and I'm nearly hysterical (I know, sad isn't it?) because I just don't know what to do anymore. Fortunately, my wife is a rock. She just tells me what to do, I do it, and all is well. Mostly.

I'm glad that nobody actually reads this anymore because this is embarrassing as hell for me. For some reason, I have completely lost the ability to discard stress. The old phrase "...let it slide...", which I practically had tattooed on me for most of my life has apparently left me in my current state. I do not know why or how. I don't sleep and when I do it's not well, not that I ever slept much or well, but now it's to the point of "why bother".

I have so many conflicting emotions inside that I don't know how to deal with. Rage, loss, sorrow, grief, fear.... they haunt me at night when I'm alone. Keep me awake at night, wondering, asking questions in my head......

I have talked to professionals on several occasions, perhaps not the right ones, perhaps not for long enough, but these things cost money and money is not a luxury we have in great supply here. Perhaps someday I should spend some long term energy in having some of my questions answered. Perhaps there are no answers. Maybe I'm just screwed. Maybe I should just deal. That's what some have told me to do. "just deal with it".... "just let it go"......

I have no idea what that means.

Cathartic, this is. Helpful, it is not.

“Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.” - John W. Gardner

The Law of Murphy ... et al.

Do you think the original Murphy sits around on a cloud or something looking down at the unsuspecting humans thinking...."hmmm... that one... let's mess with that one"... and then strikes down one of his inevitable "laws" upon the poor unsuspecting slob who's day just got gobsmacked?

I do.

I just got gobsmacked.

It was Murphy.

Nobody else could have produced the series of events that happened this morning.

I'll start you off after I drop Jody off at her office. I head home to pick up the winter tires (because they're going on today). I go to the garage, drop the keys. It's ok, no big deal. There's one little puddle (out of about 40 sq.ft.) beside the garage where the water drips off the eave, that's where they land. It's ok, no big deal. Wet keys happen all the time, right?

I get the tires loaded and head down to the shop to get the car dropped off and guess what? They don't have my appointment. Go figure, but it's ok because they have time to get it done today no problem. (Yay!) "Oh, you just missed the guy who drives people to their workplace, he'll be right back." Right back = 25 minutes.

At this point in the day you'd think I wouldn't try to do anything fancy like come up with an idea to get a snack before work eh? Wrong. I did. Unsuccessful attempt. So the guy is driving me to work and I ask him if he would mind stopping at the Irving for a minute so I can run in for a minute and grab a pop? He says no problem and I go in. While I'm paying I see him drive away!! Now I have to walk over to the office. Oh, did I mention that it's raining here today? No? It is.

So I get to the office and push the button for the elevator, doors open, I get in. Doors close, I push button for my floor and the friggin' lights go out!! The whole damn thing powers down. Apparently it was closed for repairs and the repair guy was going out to his truck to get his signs and stuff to close it off. I think maybe shutting it off should have been the first step here. I spent about 10 minutes in a dark box before I could get to my office. I think it's a good thing it was me and not some claustrophobic as that would have been bad for that repair guy. I almost took the stairs but I work on the fourth floor and my ankle still hurts if I walk up alot of stairs.

Since it's still the morning and I still have to pick up the car tonight after work, I can only assume that something terrible is still to come.

If Murphy is reading this. Lighten up dude. Stallone is Mr. I am the Law, not you.

"Everything takes longer than it takes." - Murphy

The trouble with Tribbles

((Apologies to those of you with no Star Trek humor))

No doctor would ever consider it.
No specialist would ever agree to it.
Not even wacky "new-age" healer types would go there...

...and yet, it's the only possible solution.

All the problems in my head, the migraines, the annual autumn sinus infection (that I fought off this year I think), the insomnia, the sleep apnea, etc, etc....

...it's all caused by Tribbles. I mean, just look at this picture...



...if they can cause Kirk that much trouble, surely it's entirely possible that they somehow have gotten into my head. Quite possibly during one of my many drunken passed out nights of the mid-nineties.

According to Spock, it would take Cyrano Jones 17.9 years to clear the planet of Tribbles so, extrapolating (or possibly interpolating), I should be able to have them cleared out of my head (by this miracle Tribble-shooter{insert laugh here}) in a much shorter time.

"once upon a time i could control myself
once upon a time i could lose myself
oh try and mimic what's insane...
i am in it...where do i stand?" - Pearl Jam - Once

An Evolution.... of sorts.....

It's been happening all my life....

I make friends, they like music, I like music, our musical tastes jive for a while and then.....
... I evolve. Always taking the genre farther than they are willing to go.

Some people (in fact, most people reading this) wouldn't agree that most of the music that I like to listen to would be considered evolutionary, or even good. Ha ha. I'm kind of funny that way. I like the hard stuff. Always have. Way back in the 80s, when people like my wife were rocking (albeit hard) to the likes of Poison and Motley Crue, widely considered metal of that era, I was listening to Metallica, Iron Maiden and White Zombie. Bands that were considered "harder" or more "metal" at the time.

And now, 25 years later, I'm hanging out with guys 10 years younger than me and my tastes are still harder than most of them. Only one of them appreciates the bands, the likes of Avenged Sevenfold, Slipknot, Testament or even the classics like Maiden or Megadeth. There's just something about hard base and drums blasting at you that makes me want to shake my head and get energized.

I get alot of crap from people about listening to metal. Apparently it's still not cool to listen to your own thing in the world. I hear alot of "that's just alot of screaming, there's no talent there". To those people I say, just listen to Vermillion Pt2 by SlipKnot just one time. It's a haunting melody of guitar and singing that you wouldn't expect from a group like them.

I sometimes wonder if I would be out of place moshing at a Slipknot concert and then I realize that absolutely yes I would be, but nobody there would give a shit.

Perhaps I will someday get my opportunity.

Maybe I won't be too out of touch with music when my son becomes a teenager.


"....I'm a slave, and I am a master
No restraints and, unchecked collectors
I exist through my need, to self oblige
She is something in me, that I despise...." - Vermillion, Slipknot

The wonderful world of neglect...

Dusty in here. Clean out the cobwebs......

There we go, good as new. Now if I can just remember how to do this.....

He....Hel....Hello...... Hello there.

Apparently, while travelling, I am incapable of updating two separate websites. You see, I had fallen under the dark spell of Facebook and well, OK, I have no excuse. Blogging isn't really all that much work and I could have paid more attention. I'm just lazy. Or perhaps, even beyond that. What's lazier than lazy? Lackadaisical? Comatose? Slothful? Remiss? Yes, that's the one. I've been remiss in my duties to the all important Blogger.

Well, I'm back in the office now. Trapped for the winter. Isolated in my cubicle. Praying for a lottery (or a fire) to set me free. Will it come? No. Do I have hope? Yes. "For without hope, we are lost." I'm sure someone important said that, so I thought I'd better quote it.

The summer has passed fairly quietly. We toured the province as usual. We had some adventures, although nothing particularly story-worthy comes to mind. I broke a bone in my ankle in July and sidelined myself for a while. It's better now but still hurts a little here and there. Made some money, played some Heroscape (cool board game) and watched a movie or two and now it's over.

I'll try to update my blog more often for anyone who cares to read it. If nothing exciting happens to me, then I won't have anything to write about, so, world, be exciting.

Back to work I go. Nose to the grindstone and all that rubbish.

"spider-pig, spider-pig, does whatever a spider-pig does, can he swing from a web, no he can't, he's a pig, look out, he is a spider-pig"